40 for 40… I have been in public housing and on private jets in my life. Courtrooms and courtside…
Here are some pieces of advice I believe helped make those transitions possible. I would love for you to let me know which ones you agree or disagree with.
1. You can’t stop a go-getter
What a go-getter knows is that until they give up, no one can stop them. “They” cannot stop you. They can delay you, frustrate you, distract you, discourage you. But ONLY you can stop you.
2. You don’t get to pick your life
You can pick your habits and those will dictate the type of life you have but the choice is about habits and routines not wants and desires. You don’t get to pick your life, you pick your habits and they create the outcome.
3. Never let “how you are” affect “who you are”
Dr. J famously said what made him a professional was the ability to do what he was supposed to do on the days he didn’t feel like doing it. That must be true. He was Doctor
4. You have to do your own pushups
Goals have a price and you are the only one that can pay that price. People can’t be brave for you. People can’t be ambitious for you. People can’t try for you.
5. Money only spends once
Experience travels. Many people are “stuck” because they prioritize money over development. Money only spends once, you can make experience pay over and over and over.
The opportunity to develop creates the opportunity to earn. Many people overvalue money and undervalue the experience.
6. You need more strangers
You were taught when you were little that you shouldn’t talk to strangers. That simple lesson has probably hurt you more than anything else in your life. All the people you know right now that care about you and have a useful resource are already doing everything they can to help you.
You need new people with new resources to go from “here” to “there”. Those people exist but you have not met them yet. New friends are a winning formula.
7. Know what it really costs to spend (Rule of 72)
My nephew text me the other day to talk through investments. When we catch up the first thing I will tell him is that at his age the money he invests will double 5 more times in working life. That means that every dollar he spends today is 32 dollars he won’t have later.
A $150 pair of shoes actually cost him $4,800. Knowing that, do you still need those shoes??
8. The Devil You know is still a devil
Bad jobs, bad habits, bad relationships are all actually comfortable. The reason there is a cliché that states “better to live with the devil you know” is because we’re wired to believe that it’s better to have pain and certainty instead of the opportunity for pleasure at the cost of uncertainty. You have to override that part of your brain and remind yourself that the devil you know is still a devil.
9. “Listen and learn” is infinitely more sophisticated (while also less painful) than “live and learn”
If you can learn that the stove is hot without having to touch it you are infinitely more sophisticated than those who absolutely have to touch it (and likely touch it from a different angle) to know it is hot.
10. Don’t borrow trouble
Never ever worry about what might happen if things don’t go your way. Worry steals our joy without an upside. There will be plenty of disappointment along the way. Don’t let your mind spend time solving problems that may never arise. See no.22
11. Experience is a synonym for Bad Experience
What we really mean when we say “we have experience” is that we have had a bunch of bad experiences which we now know not to repeat. Many people try to avoid those bad experiences and then are baffled when they aren’t seen as a leader or expert.
12. What we DO is the only way to prove what we believe
Action is the truth-teller of what we say we believe. What we spend time DOING is the real truth about what we actually value.
13. They don’t show you the bad art
When I was 20 years old I got to hear a bunch of beats from a producer who was on his way to becoming famous. A lot of those beats sucked. Bad. Like most of them. But his great ones are great. Like some of the best ever.
This taught me that people make bad stuff more than they make good stuff. But we don’t see the bad stuff so we believe that we are unique in our failures. Great songs aren’t written, they’re rewritten and rewritten and rewritten.
14. 2 is one and 1 is none
When Kobe Bryant died I recorded birthday messages for the next decade for my youngest children. Then I sent those recordings to two people via Google. Two other people via Youtube. And Two other people via physical memory cards.
I hope no one ever has to play those
messages but if they are needed I can't risk that the people I sent them to have lost them or that the method I sent them is no longer reliable.
1 job is no job. 1 source of income is no source of income. 1 plan is no plan. Get it?
15. You can pay now or you can pay later
There is pain, or anxiety, or apprehension associated with every worthwhile endeavor. You can pay that now with action (and potentially failure) or later with regret but you will pay either way.
16. Yet is the difference
All the winners benefited from the mindset of YET. I can’t do (insert accomplishment) YET. Yet is assumptive. I can’t do it now, but I will be able to it later. Figure out human flight, Orville? NOT YET!
17. Wishing won’t work
Hope isn’t an effective strategy. No one is coming to save you or me or your kids. No one is coming to make sure you find joy. Action is the solution.
18. The universe will give you the same test until you pass it
“Why does this keep happening to me”? Well, because you keep choosing the wrong answer.
19. The smartest thing you can do is work hard
Working harder and working smarter are not opposite actions. The smartest thing you could ever do is work really, really, really hard
20. Use the right dose
The difference between poison and medicine is the dose. Most things aren’t black and white and you need to respond with the right amount of resolve, passion, accountability, discipline, etc. You have to have some “touch”.
21. Self-confidence is a myth
Confidence is external. You take an action and the result fulfills one of two feedback loops: a.) That wasn’t so bad! I’m ok with trying that again OR b.) Cool, I got my way. I’m ok with trying that again.
22. If worrying worked, you would feel better when you did it
Worry is the least productive emotion. Instead of worry, choose action. Do the next thing you can do that is remotely tied to something beneficial. Even if that “thing” is to simply stop worrying.
23. You only die once
The pork chop at Yolo in Fort Lauderdale is one of my favorite meals. I like the song Yolo as well. But truth be told “You only live once” is a myth. You’ll only die once, but you can have several lives within your time on earth. And you can completely change from one life to the next with a single decision, or new contact, or a new point of view.
24. It’s a little bit what you know, a little bit who you know. And a whole lot of WHO KNOWS YOU
What you know and who you know are pieces of the success equation without a doubt. But WHO KNOWS YOU is the bigger piece by a landslide. When an opportunity comes up, are the decision-makers already thinking of you? Do they know enough about you that you are the obvious choice?
25. Reps work, and NOTHING else does
No magic pill. No book to read. Repetitions are the only way to improve anything. You will be better on your 10th try than your first. You will be better on your 100th try than your 10th. Most quitting is done long before we have the benefit or repetition though, sadly!
26. You cant climb further than you are willing to crawl
At some point, you go from gaining miles to inches. You’re no longer upright. You’re now on your hands and knees. The incline persists. And when this happens many people get discouraged and turn back. The “higher up” you intend to travel, the more you’ll need to accept that gaining an inch is perfect progress even when there are miles to go.
27. The hero and the coward feel the same fear
The hero just turns the fear into fuel for change. But make no mistake about it, the hero is equally afraid as the coward!
28. You don’t find your passion, you develop it
The guy or gal who you know that is 100% dialed in at all times to their goals didn’t just get lucky. They used curiosity and persistence to sift through experiences until they found the ones that they could do with enthusiasm forever.
29. You don’t decide when
You can’t decide when you’ll be successful but you can decide if you’ll be successful. For some people, it will happen very quickly. For others, it will be slow and arduous. BUT If you take the right actions for long enough the results will come. It’s guaranteed but it’s not automatic (right away).
30. Write it down, right now
On an otherwise innocuous day, my life changed while in a meeting with my buddy Sam. We were talking, and he stopped and emailed himself the conclusion of our point. He told me he had an email chain with himself going back 3 years and it has been almost 3 years since he had a “what were we talking about” moment. I started an email with myself on that day, 6/27/ 2010 called “STUFF” and my wife can verify that I send myself a message a couple of hundred times a month when I learn something new.
31. It's only lonely at the top if you don’t help others get there too
If you want to get something for yourself, the fastest route is helping other people get what they want. This sets in motion a series of mutually beneficial consequences where they are now engaged in helping you get what you want.
32. Problems are part of the deal
Here’s our reality: At all times we either have a problem or one is on the way. The goal is to acquire tools that help solve problems not to find methods to avoid problems.
33. Nuance is real
Water is death if you are drowning and life if you are on fire. Society is trying to tell you that nuance is not real. They say if you like X, that must mean you hate Y. That’s not the truth.
34. Potential has a shelf life
Unfortunately “It’s never too late” is a half-truth. While it is true that it is never too late to change, it can definitely be too late to obtain. You don’t have forever to be great.
35. Yoda is full of it
The concept of “there is no try, there is only do” is crap. Trying is the best option you have in life. By the way, another thing that is crap is the idea that “it doesn’t hurt to try”. Of course, it hurts to try. That’s why most people won't do it.
36. It’s possible you don’t know what is best for someone else
What if, and I know this is crazy, you don’t have the ability to know what is best for someone else? What if, even though it frustrates you, their point of view is PERFECT for them for what they know they need emotionally, financially, etc?
37. Everyone hates good ideas at first
I see young professionals get so mad when their ideas get shut down. So mad they become indifferent and stop trying to innovate. If only they knew to keep swinging the bat. If your ideas are any good you’ll have to shove them down people's throats.
(This will serve as my annual reminder that almost everyone thought the internet was a fad and that’s why you can’t trust experts)
38. It starts with the foundation
If a space shuttle is off by 1 degree at the launch it travels OFF COURSE by 92 feet for every mile it travels. Instead of reaching the moon, it will miss by five thousand miles. When you start something, you have to do the foundational work. A slight miscalculation creates an entirely different sequence of events.
39. Just Do It
You have to reduce the amount of time you think about doing. Your default setting is hesitation. You have to rewire that.
40. The difference between a million and a billion
The owner of a large equity fund once explained to me the difference between those two numbers. If you wanted to count to a million, you can do that in about 12 days.
If you wanted to count to a billion, you’d need the next 31 years of your life.
There is no practical use for this one other than to appreciate how extraordinary it is to become a billionaire. I’ve had extensive conversations with 3 billionaires. I don’t know if that’s more or less than the average person but I know many of them think the things you just read. Thanks for reading!
